Why? Because He Loves
April 16th, 2008
You must picture me alone in that room in Magdalen, night after night, feeling, whenever my mind lifted even for a second from my work, the steady, unrelenting approach of Him of whom I so earnestly desired not to meet….I gave in, and admitted that God was God, and knelt and prayed: perhaps, that night, the most dejected and reluctant convert in all England. I did not then see what is now the most shining and obvious thing; the Divine humility which will accept a convert even on such terms. The Prodigal Son at least walked home on his own feet. But who can duly adore that Love which will open the high gates to a prodigal who is brought in kicking, struggling, resentful, and darting his eyes in every direction for a chance of escape?
(C.S. Lewis inYours, Jack, page 9, and Surprised by Joy, Chapter 14)
Never does much time go by when I don’t wonder why God would choose to save me. After I read this passage last night from Yours, Jack I began wondering all over again. Even though I know the answer, I still ask why me?
Looking at the life of C.S. Lewis, or any other Christian whose life God used to impact the world, it is easy to see why God would pursue them relentlessly, and drag them “kicking and screaming” into His kingdom. There were great things to be done though those great minds and personalities. Then I think of my five-year-old self walking home from school one day talking to a God that I knew was there, but I did not know. I have always believed in God. Me. Shy, awkward, slow of speech, not exceptionally bright or talented in any obvious way. That was me then, and still me now, and I wonder why did He choose me?
The past couple weeks I have been examining myself and thinking how repulsive I must be to God right now. I’ve been laying around like old garbage stinking up the joint and refuse to pull myself up to stand before the King because I am ashamed. I was talking to my mom on the phone the other day and she said three words to me that turned my eyes from myself and to the One who has saved me and continues to save me. She said God loves you. Why do I forget that? God saved me because He loves me, just as He loves all of His creation—just as he loved Mr. Lewis. I must remember. I must remember.
Because I have difficulty remembering, accepting, and abiding in Christ’s love, I am going to spend much time these next few weeks (or however long God keeps me there) doing just that—remembering, accepting, and abiding in His love.
April 16th, 2008 at 10:21 am
“That was me then, and still me now, and I wonder why did He choose me?”
When I spend too much time looking at myself, I end up asking this question and it spirals downward. Ultimately, God choosing me had absolutely nothing to do with who I was/am (Romans 9). It had everything to do with God.
The wonder of my election and salvation is found in the unlimited, immeasurable, and unmerited love, grace, mercy, and favor of a holy God, showered freely and abundantly on wretches like me and wretches like you…and wretches like Lewis.
Lewis, for all his mental ability, knowledge, and “usefulness,” was saved no more and no less than you or me—completely, unconditionally, and without ANY merit of his own. Lewis’ giftings (an apt word to consider) played no role in God’s saving grace to him.
That’s good news in my life. When anything but grace enters the picture, I’m excluded and grace ceases to be grace.
April 16th, 2008 at 10:57 am
Dylan, I love you. Seriously, as a brother in Christ, you have been a special gift that God has tucked securely into my life. You are evidence of God’s grace in my life. I’m an Heir of Grace ;o)
April 17th, 2008 at 7:18 am
Praise God! I’m honored to be used in your life.
You’re an instrument of God in my life as well. Your transparency and honestly and refreshing and encouraging.
April 18th, 2008 at 10:52 am
Donna,
Interestingly, this is sort of the subject I’m preaching on this Sunday! We’re in the book of Luke and this week is 23:26-49. My message title is “Salvation is Costly, Needed, and Freely Given.” Thanks for helping me to remember just how free is God’s love and grace in our lives!
1f64June 3rd, 2008 at 6:02 am
[...] read more at Heir of Grace [...]