Why? Because He Loves
April 16th, 2008
You must picture me alone in that room in Magdalen, night after night, feeling, whenever my mind lifted even for a second from my work, the steady, unrelenting approach of Him of whom I so earnestly desired not to meet….I gave in, and admitted that God was God, and knelt and prayed: perhaps, that night, the most dejected and reluctant convert in all England. I did not then see what is now the most shining and obvious thing; the Divine humility which will accept a convert even on such terms. The Prodigal Son at least walked home on his own feet. But who can duly adore that Love which will open the high gates to a prodigal who is brought in kicking, struggling, resentful, and darting his eyes in every direction for a chance of escape?
(C.S. Lewis inYours, Jack, page 9, and Surprised by Joy, Chapter 14)
Never does much time go by when I don’t wonder why God would choose to save me. After I read this passage last night from Yours, Jack I began wondering all over again. Even though I know the answer, I still ask why me?
In No Particular Order…
December 13th, 2007
I haven’t disappeared, and here’s a post to prove it. I just got home from work and decided tonight is the night to forget everything I should be doing, make a cup of tea, kick my feet up, and give the keyboard a whirl. Rick cut himself back early from work this afternoon to take Bren to the high school basketball games in town (she’s taking pics for yearbook), so it’s just the dogs and me home at the moment. If you can’t make sense of what I write, don’t worry—it’s me, not you. (By the way, why didn’t anyone tell me Christmas is in 12 days?)
Life in our house has been a bit strange lately because we are dealing with a few things that have cluttered up the path our normal thoughts and emotions travel down. It’s nothing too serious, it’s just that feeling you get when life begins to change and you realize something’s different. All of a sudden you’re making all kinds of adjustments, trying to get comfortable with the new circumstances. That’s where we are. I’m not to the point where I want to share what’s going on—maybe in the near future.
Greatness
November 18th, 2007
I can’t remember the last time—if I ever have—pondered the question What makes a person great? I found the short answer in Faithfulness and Holiness, by J.I. Packer, who writes passionately about the 19th Century Bible teacher and Puritan Bishop, John Charles Ryle.
Not all men (or women) with good qualities deserve to be called great. What makes the difference? What are the further qualities that distinguish a great man from other good men?
1. Achievement. Great persons make their mark in their own sphere, whatever that is.
2. Impact. Great persons become inspirers and energizers of others, benchmark figures whose personal ideals and ways of behaving set standards for others that were not set, or at least not taken seriously, before. (Think John Wesley and Winston Churchill).
3. Universality. Great persons transcend the limits of their own age, and embody insight and wisdom for all who come after them (Think Augustine and John Calvin).
By these criteria Ryle was most certainly a great man.
She Gets Me
November 15th, 2007
I left the house early yesterday so I had time to run some errands before I had to be in to work at one. With my little missions complete, a growl from my stomach reminded me that I hadn’t eaten anything yet that morning, so I stopped by the food court and grabbed a sandwich for luh. While I ate I read my favorite magazine, Bookmarks, and came across a passage of writing by Isabel Allende that blew me away. I read it over three times. I love it when writers write about writing. What Isabel said in this statement sums up perfectly why I blog. I may have to look more into her writing.
For me life becomes real when I write it. What I don’t write is erased by the winds of oblivion. I forget a lot, my mind betrays me, I can’t recall places, names, dates, or faces, but I never forget a good story…or a significant dream. Writing is a silent introspection, a journey to the dark caverns of memory and the soul. Fiction [writing], like memory, moves from revelation to revelation. I write because I need to remember and overcome. It is from memory and a sense of loss that the passion to create emerges.
Long Post, Grab A Cuppa Coffee
January 21st, 2007
Click on the scripture references to read the text in NKJV.
Make your ear attentive to wisdom, incline your heart to understanding; for if you cry for discernment, lift your voice for understanding; if you seek her as silver, and search for her as for hidden treasures; then you will discern the fear of the Lord, and discover the knowledge of God. For the Lord gives wisdom; from His mouth come knowledge and understanding” ~Prov. 2:2-6
I read a lot of books, articles, magazines, blogs, ezines, and sermons. I listen to sermons online and at church. I attend a women’s bible study and receive additional bible teaching at church on Wednesday nights. I have a varied church backgroud having been a member of Assemblies of God, Church of Christ, PCA: Presbyterian Churches of America (Reformed), three Southern Baptist churches, and three Independent Baptist churches, one of which we are currently members of. (Any military family will understand all these moves!). And I completed two semesters of bible college (I had the pleasure of being the first student to receive an F from one of the professors, so I have nothing to boast of here).
A Thought on Free Will & Sovereignty
January 20th, 2007
If human freedom and divine sovereignty are real contradictions, then one of them, at least, has to go. If sovereignty excludes freedom and freedom excludes sovereignty, then either God is not sovereign or man is not free.
~ R.C. Sproul, Chosen By God
Frigid Friday
January 6th, 2007
It is nearly 2 a.m. now but it doesn’t feel like it. Bren and I returned home a little late tonight and so it doesn’t quite seem like bedtime yet.
Bren is sitting on the couch with her laptop browsing bn.com and eBay for works of Oscar Wilde who receives credit for the quote Wisdom comes with winters. (I heartily agree with the gentleman!) She spent the evening in the company of our church youth at the pastor’s home for a movie night, and I went into town with a new friend, Addy. We planned to see The Pursuit of Happyness this evening (the movie was deeply moving; I highly recommend it), and left early so we would have time to stop by Michael’s to sign up for a knitting class, and then on to The Mother Ship (Barnes&Noble) to browse and drink. Yes, as a matter of fact I did buy two books; this one and this one, thanks for asking.
Bren and I abandoned Rick for this Friday night, but we left him with a casserole, one of those banana-pudding-coolwhip-nilla wafter dessert things, and sole control of the remote.
The dogs are miserable. It was really really cold today so we couldn’t take them out for a walk or to play ball. Climbing back up the back porch stairs after they’ve gone potty has been difficult for them, so I put their booties on to protect their feet better, but they were afraid to go down the stairs with them on. Poor poopers.
This is our forecast for the next few days. I’M READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL!
1f69He Is Lord Over All
December 8th, 2006
Thank you all for your prayers. I know God hears.
My mom gave me the news last night when I called her on our way to church. I did my best to push it into a closet in the back of my mind so I could hold myself together during worship. There is a lot going on in the lives of our family members, some of it very bad, some a bit grevious, and one in particular is a cause for great rejoicing. A family member has been going through great trials physically and the Lord has used that in her life to draw her to Himself.
I pray the Lord will draw Justin close so he will be able to make it through the horrible days that lie ahead of him.
O, thou Father of my spirit,
thou king of my life,
cast me not into destruction,
drive me not from thy presence,
but wound my heart that it may be healed;
break it that thine own hand may make it whole.
~From The Valley of Vision: The Cry Of A Convicted Sinner
Bren’s correspondence courses arrived on Monday. We ventured out into town on Tuesday to pick them up and stopped by the college to inquire about a sign language course being offered for the Spring semester. Bren has been wanting to take sign language for quite awhile, and now that she’s studying at home she has time to do so. We received permission from the instructor for Bren to take the class, so we went to town this morning and enrolled her. I now have a highschool freshman that thinks it’s pretty cool to be taking her first college course, especially since her friend Rachel from church, who is also homeschooled, is enrolling in the class as well.
The chickie is also staying very busy with drama class these days as they are getting ready to put on a production next week. Bren has been staying after school every day to help the instructor. We arrived here too late for Bren to audition, so she’s been working on the set, make-up, running errands for the teacher, and standing in for kids that don’t show up. She loves theatre.
While in town today we stopped by Barnes&Noble to pick a CD I ordered, Shadow of Your Wings: Hymns And Sacred Songs, by Fernando Ortega, my favorite artist. Bren and I were so overwhelmed by the beauty of the music that we worshipped the whole thirty-minute drive home. Bren, who told me before I put the CD in that I wasn’t allowed to cry, cried all the way home. This CD is a soothing balm for the spirit and I highly recommend it. If you have never heard Fernando, check out his website and have a listen. (And as a side note, the CD is less on his website than what I paid for it at B&N).
My compulsive book-buying will come to an end someday, but that day was not today. I have to give great big kudos to the buyers at this particular store, as the Christian/religion section has a very good selecition of books worth reading. I finally got a copy of The Valley of Vision: A Collection of Puritan Prayers & Devotions, and Luther The Reformer, by James M. Kittelson. This latter find has caused me to change my reading plans and dive headlong into the biography of this great man. Oh joy!
I spent the remainder of our evening reading over the introduction to Bren’s science course with her, and setting up her lesson plans. She’s going to be a busy gal, but welcomes the work without having to put up with all the garbage. I can see a difference in her demeanor already.
Praying for Discernment
November 18th, 2006
Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it spring the issues of life. Put away from you a deceitful mouth, and put perverse lips far from you. Let your eyes look straight ahead, and your eyelids look right before you. Ponder the path of your feet, and let all your ways be established. Do not turn to the right or the left; remove your foot from evil. ~ Proverbs 4:23-27
Our sunrise this morning is at 9:32 and sunset will be at 3:33 p.m. We lost 7 minutes of daylight yesterday and will lose 6 more today. Pretty soon our daylight will consist of an orange glow peeking over the horizon for just a couple hours before darkness resumes. Of course all that changes – albeit slowly – after the winter solstice. Meanwhile, I have a strong desire to sleep buried in a comfortably warm bed most of the time. My body yells at me, “It’s dark, go to sleep!”
So, what am I doing up at 8:30 on a Saturday morning? Our friend Kent called this morning to ask if Rick wanted to ride with him to the men’s breakfast at church. Bren answered the phone in her room then came in and crawled into bed with me. She didn’t get to sleep until 3 a.m, so she’ll be out for several more hours. Friday night is the only night she can stay up as late as she wants, so she takes full advantage.
A Book And A Fire
November 11th, 2006
We were blessed to begin our day with brunch in the home of friends, Kent and Leah. They live just past a short path through the woods behind our house, so Rick, Bren, and I bundled up and made the chilly trek over. Not much feels better than entering a warm home from the arctic cold.
When we returned home, Kent and Leah returned with us so the manly folk could move a heavy piece of furniture to the basement, then hook up the water filter to the ice maker. As the men tinkered, I sat with Leah and looked through photo albums for pictures of people from the Philippines to see if there were any people we happened to be mutual acquaintences of. In our discussions this morning we discovered that I was stationed in the Philippines the same time they were and she had dated my sponsor. That’s pretty amazing we knew the same people back in the mid-80s.
After our company left, Rick was ready for a nap and Bren was ready (with allowance in hand) for me to take her to town to shop at thrift stores, so we took off. We only hit one store, then made our way to Barnes&Noble with the laptop so Bren could work at leveling her mountain of homework a bit.
The atmosphere in the store tonight was intoxicating. The fire was warm, the cafe not so busy, and to our great delight, there was a a group of four violinists playing classical pieces (I took a photo which I will download when I get home). We settled down in the overstuffed chairs with our books and hot coffee, and let the rest of the world go.
Just a bit ago Bren got my attention and said, “Mom, listen to this…
“Give me,” said Joe, “a good book… and sit me down afor a good fire, and I ask no better. Lord!” ~ Joe Gargery in Great Expectations
She thought it was a pretty wonderful dialogue in the story being that at present we are sitting around a fire reading good books.
It is currently 13 degrees below zero outside now, and I wonder when I will get so used to the temperatures here that it no longer occurs to me to mention it in my blog posts.
Discerning the Will of God
July 8th, 2006
Wow, the timing of this message was perfect (God’s timing always is!) as I grapple with wanting something (Alaska) so badly that I teeter on the edge of allowing myself to block out the necessity of praying ...in Jesus’s name as I make my requests known to God. This daily devotional I subscribe to appeared in my Inbox this morning.
The primary condition for learning what God wants of us is putting ourselves wholly at his disposal. It is just here that we are often blocked. We hold certain reservations about how far we are willing to go, what we will or will not do, how much God can have of us or of what we treasure. Then we pray for guidance. It will not work. We must begin by laying it all down—ourselves, our treasures, our destiny. Then we are in a position to think with renewed minds and act with a transformed nature. The withholding of any part of ourselves is the same as saying, “Thy will be done up to a point, mine from there on.”
~ Elisabeth Elliot, in A Lamp For My Feet ~
If you would like to read the rest of this devotional or subscribe to Gateway to Joy, click here.
Staying Put
June 27th, 2006
Delight yourself also in the LORD, And He shall give you the desires of your heart. ~ Psalm 37:4
Emotions ran on high in our house today. After almost three weeks of waiting for word on whether or not Rick was accepted for a position at a place where we really wanted to move to, he found out he didn’t get the job. And what made Rick feel worse is that no one bothered to call or email to let him know. In the civilian world that may be the norm, but in the military, that is totally uncool. But I can see now that the delay in our receiving the information was something God used for our spiritual advantage.
Sermon Notes 6/25
June 25th, 2006
Note: We are just visiting the church where we heard this sermon today so I don’t know much at all about the pastor.
The Blessed Life According to Jesus: Matthew 5:1-12
The pastor opened with an article about Creflo (gimme a) Dollar and contrasted the Prosperity Gospel with what the Bible says about true wealth. Some statements made by the pastor:
The Sermon on the Mount is the Kingdom of God lived out-loud
Matt 7:28-29 are the key verses in Matthew; Jesus taught as One who had authority.
