An Heir of Grace

Why? Because He Loves

April 16th, 2008

You must picture me alone in that room in Magdalen, night after night, feeling, whenever my mind lifted even for a second from my work, the steady, unrelenting approach of Him of whom I so earnestly desired not to meet….I gave in, and admitted that God was God, and knelt and prayed: perhaps, that night, the most dejected and reluctant convert in all England. I did not then see what is now the most shining and obvious thing; the Divine humility which will accept a convert even on such terms. The Prodigal Son at least walked home on his own feet. But who can duly adore that Love which will open the high gates to a prodigal who is brought in kicking, struggling, resentful, and darting his eyes in every direction for a chance of escape?
(C.S. Lewis inYours, Jack, page 9, and Surprised by Joy, Chapter 14)

Never does much time go by when I don’t wonder why God would choose to save me. After I read this passage last night from Yours, Jack I began wondering all over again. Even though I know the answer, I still ask why me?

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Posted in Dying Daily, Quotes, Theology, The Naked Files | 5 Comments »

Let’s Lose Sixty Pounds And Buy New Clothes!

December 23rd, 2007

All showered and make-up applied, I stood in my little walk-in closet this morning wearing a t-shirt, a towel wrapped around my waist, trying to find something to wear. It’s the Sunday before Christmas and I knew everyone at church was going to be in their nicest outfits, looking very festive. I had nothing.

I grabbed a brown pair of jeans and a brown blouse, then set up the ironing board. While ironing my top, Bren came in looking very pretty and plopped down on my bed to watch me. “You’re not wearing brown on brown are you?”, she asked.

“Yes, I am. I have nothing else to wear.” I finished ironing and put the blouse on, then the jeans. I heard a stifled laugh coming from Bren’s direction and turned to looked at her. “What!?

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Posted in Church, The Naked Files | 6 Comments »

The Naked Files #2

November 29th, 2007

Today Bren had a difficult morning at school. I received a call from her just after 11 a.m. and she asked if I would come get her for lunch. I showered quickly, stopped to get her a Rockstar (energy drink), and made my way to the school. I watched as Bren made her way to the car in the chilly 10-degree air without her coat. She looked tired and pained. As soon as she was settled in her seat and we began to pull away, her tears began to flow. What a great stress reliever tears are!

I drove around the corner to BK and left Bren sitting in the car while I went in for her lunch. When I returned she said “Okay, I’m done crying.” I pulled into a descreet parking space and ate while we talked about everything on her mind. I got her back to school with a few minutes to spare. After getting out of the car, Bren leaned in a little and said, “Thanks for coming to get me, I needed the break.” I watched as she walked back into the school. (A habit I have developed so that if she happens to injure herself falling on the ice, I’m still there. I’m such a mom…)

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Posted in Parenting, The Naked Files | 4 Comments »

The Naked Files #1

November 13th, 2007

Earlier today I was reading this book review over at Tim’s blog, and a statement by the book’s author, Edward Welch, threw me into a period of serious introspection. Mr. Welch says

Fear is “a door to spiritual reality.” “There is a close connection,” Welch says, “between what we fear and what we think we need. … Whatever you need is a mere stone’s throw from what you fear.”

I sat for awhile and tried to be completely honest with myself, wading in deep to reveal what I am truly afraid of. The first fear that came to mind is the same fear that almost every parent the world over has: the fear of something bad happening to their children. Since that was a given, I kept thinking, and after a few minutes the big one came floating to the surface and popped like a big bubble. I was surprised.

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