An Heir of Grace

Spring has finally arrived :) It was 65 degrees today and the snow is melting fast. On my short drive home from work through the housing area the streets and sidewalks were alive with people and pets. Little kids on tricycles, families walking together; garage doors open, releasing four-wheelers and motorcycles from their winter caves. The Spring air was filled with sounds barking dogs, laughter, the pounding of adolescent feet on the ground; sputtering motors, water parting as cars made their way through endless puddles that reflected shimmering sunlight.

Sunday after church Bren and I drove to town in search of The Prom Dress and it was actually a very enjoyable experience. We had a lot of fun. In the past, clothes shopping with Bren never ended well, both of us were always reduced to a mess of anger and tears. The difference now is that she is no longer stuck in the No Girl’s Land that is out of the Girls section but not quite in the Juniors. My baby is almost all grown up and fitting in women’s clothing quite nicely. I would post a pic of The Dress now, but Bren would not approve. You will have to wait until May 3rd.

I love sleep too much. I know this because whenever I get a lot of sleep I feel the need to tell the whole world. Hey! I got to sleep in today! I don’t have to be in to work until 2 p.m. but I have been late once or twice because I overslept. I think my co-workers find this amusing…or I find it amusing and they think…well, whatever they want. I hope they know that my afternoon naps are the reason why I have the energy to hang out with teenagers all afternoon!

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I saw something today for the first time this winter (it’s actually Spring now, isn’t it?)—a snowman. We received two or three inches of snow last night and this morning, and it was wet snow; definitely not the norm for us. Our snow is dry and powdery and it squeaks when you walk on it. It is impossible to create snowballs and snowmen with it. Good about the snowballs (everyone and everything would be a target seven months out of the year), not so good about the snowmen. I love snowmen. The one I saw was created by a six-year-old in his yard at the end of our street. It was no more than two feet tall and had small branches for the arms. I left my camera at home, so I didn’t get a picture, but it was a cute.

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One of the BEST feelings in the world to me is waking up in the morning/afternoon, thinking I don’t have to get up, and sleeping for another couple hours. I fully deserve any curses that come from the love of sleep.

So yeah, I did get up at noon today. Bren fell asleep on the couch last night while we were watching The Devil Wears Prada and since she had taken her contacts out, I left her sleeping on the couch when I went to bed at about 3:00 a.m.

It was heart-wrenching, but I managed to pull around fifty unwanted, unneeded, unloved...I manged to pull fifty books off my shelves that I could part with without becoming emotionally distraght. My books had been sitting patiently, stacked in a laundry basket at the end of my bed for over a week, so Rick finally boxed them up and dropped them off at the Literacy Council when he went into town this afternoon. Amazingly enough Rick only joked once that I hadn’t even made a small dent in my collection by sacrificing fifty. Psh.

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Bren and I had a really nice time out tonight doing our regular biz in town. I got off work at six and by seven we were headed for Fairbanks. Rick had gotten up at 3:30 a.m. to help with a breakfast fund-raiser at the club this morning, so he was pretty much useless this evening and looked forward to getting an early night. It was all good—he doesn’t have what it takes to hang with Bren and me on our marathon reading sessions at The Mother Ship anyway.

The bookstore was really quiet and enjoyable this evening. After a couple hours, Bren finished reading Love Walked In which she loved. Once when I looked up from my book and over at her, she was holding her finger on a page and had a pouty lip. I asked her what was wrong and she said, “I’m about to read the last sentence but I don’t want to because I don’t want the book to end.” Since I am reading Belong To Me, the follow-on to Love Walked In, I pointed out that she has the next book to look forward to when I’m done with it. I discovered that my point was just a slight consolation when she finally did read the last sentence, closed the book, held it to her chest and got teary-eyed. Make no mistake about it—this girl loves good books! The real consolation was Bren being able to get up and comb the book shelves for her next read.

After B&N we went to see the scary movie Prom Night with about fifty million other teenagers. We sat, ate popcorn, jumped in our seats, Bren yelped a few times, we wondered why the fleeing damsel in distress ALWAYS trips and falls while being pursued; we criticized the ending, and then it was all over. It was a short movie.

Girl talk on the thirty-minute drive home was the highlight of night. With soft sounds playing on the car radio accompanying Bren’s voice, and the Northern Lights dancing around the dark starry sky, I thought to myself I hope I remember this night with my daughter, April 11, 2008, forever.

It’s nearly eleven a.m. on this incredibly frigid day in the middle of this incredibly frigid week. I’m sitting on the couch in the living room, feet up on the coffee table (coffee within reach), laptop on my lap. Bad Dog Neezy is sprawled out on the love seat snoring across the room. The Atlantis Space Shuttle launch is being broadcast live on Fox News. My feet are really cold.

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Happy New Year, everyone.

Hm. There is so much stuff going on in our personal lives at the moment, that I’m finding it difficult to to write much of anything. I don’t recall a time in the past when a new year began on low note. I’m confident things will be brighter before long.

New Year’s Eve we didn’t do much. Bren walked across the street to a party she had been invited to, but came home at 11:30 so be with her dad and I at midnight. Rick didn’t stay up much later, but Bren and I watched most of a movie, then we lay in bed talking until around 4 a.m.

Rick woke us girls up at 1 p.m. this afternoon and took us out to lunch and a movie. We saw National Treasure which we enjoyed. I thought it was better than the first movie. After picking up some neccessities at Wally World, we came home and have had a quiet evening.

We’re such an exciting family.

Bren came in to work with me this afternoon at one o’clock. There were only three girls in the teen room watching T.V. when we arrived, so I knew I would have plenty of time to take all the Christmas decorations down and clean real well, which is nearly impossible to do with a room full of kids.

I worked non-stop, cleaning for four hours while Bren read her Beth Moore book, watched a movie, and played Guitar Hero on PS2. Rick came and picked her up at 5:00 so they could go home and get ready for their date. As a Christmas gift, Bren wanted to take her dad out to our favorite Thai restaurant in Fairbanks. Bren and I have eaten there sevearl times, but Rick had never been. He loved it.

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Today was the first day I had even a smidgen of Christmas spirit. I woke up around 11 a.m. and peeked in on Bren. I was surprised to see her half-awake. I laid on the bed next to her and we took several minutes waking up together, talking about our plans for the day.

After Rick came in from shoveling the driveway Bren made a dash for her stocking, which she always opens Christmas Eve morning. Afterward, resisting the urge to run to the computer to use her $25 itunes gift card, Bren offered to make an omelet and bacon breakfast for us, which was delicious (where she got the cooking genes, I’d like to know!) After we ate and got presentable, we drove to town for some last-minute shopping.

Actually, Bren had something she wanted to get for me, so they dropped me off at The Mother Ship where I indulged in a venti coffee of the day and looked for a good book for my friend, Kim. Before long Bren and Rick were back. Rick found a chair to relax in while doing his best to put on his “waiting patiently” face while Bren and I browsed a bit more.

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It’s 45-below this morning. On the way to school our breath froze to the car windows which was pretty cool. I hope the school crossing guard is getting paid well.

In about an hour and a half I will be heading to our office “Festivus Party”. Evidently this is something Seinfeld- related. I’ve never seen Seinfeld in my life, so I haven’t a clue what all is involved beside food. I’m told I qualify to attend this party because I was overheard saying something like I HATE CHRISTMAS.

Don’t tell anyone.

I must snap out of this cold-induced stupor and get busy on my Festivus casserole, and locating a gift to wrap up.

Bye.

Thank you all for your prayers :o) Being the good mom detective I am, I concluded that Bren had a case of mild food poisoning (nuff said on that one). The “weird” feeling is a hand-sized spot on her leg that is numb, and I think I figured that one out as well.

I can’t sleep when Bren is ill, so I was up at 3 a.m. reading the news online and decided to check the local weather forecast. I laughed out loud when I saw the high for Thursday is predicted to be 33-below zero Fahrenheit. (I think I also mumbled something like what are we doing here?) Then I read the article below and realized that Saturday night was when the arctic air blew in, and also when Bren was at the sleepover birthday party and the girls walked a friend home late at night dressed like this:

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Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue, and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things. ~ Philippians 4:8

Today was a really bad day.

I feel I have to supress the whole truth in a situation because to reveal it would cause someone deeper grief.

I was surprised, hurt, and disappointed that my motives in a relationship were questioned. It never once crossed my mind that my helping someone could have been misjudged, but I understand. I’ll know better next time (but I sincerely hope there will never be a next time) I have an unsettling feeling that this isn’t going to end just yet.

Oh how I wish I had thicker skin.

Bren is sick tonight. She’s scared because she feels “weird”—not a normal sick. Please pray for her.

I hope you all have a blessed day. I love you.

Okay, we’re done being spoiled with the “warm” weather (by warm I mean above zero) Winter is here. The “coldest in clear and calm valleys” comment…that would be us. Now where did I put my long johns?

This weekend was the most enjoyable one we’ve had in quite awhile, mainly because we spent most of it together. Bren had a wonderful time at the sleepover party with her friends, and we were so happy to know she was out having fun. Rick and I indulged in a Stuffed Crust Supreme pizza at Pizza Hut (although the silverware was dirty and the place needs to be bulldozed at the earliest convenience, the pizza was sooooooo good!) Afterward, we rented Ocean’s 13 from BlockBuster, and relaxed on the couch under a warm blanket for the evening.

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A winter school dance + being crowned Sophomore Class Princess of winter dance + learning how to dance + 13 hours of uninterrupted sleep = one very happy girl. This is the first time in many months that Bren has been so excited and happy, and it brought her dad and I much joy to see her that way. As my friend Kim said to me recently, when things are not going well in life for a long period of time, you learn to find happiness and joy in the little things.

It’s about 3:30 right now on this Saturday afternoon and it’s nearly dark out. There is several inches of new snow on everything and it looks quite beautiful. I remember when I was young, taking walks in the snow with my dad just after sunset. Everything was blue and sparkling and so quiet. And I also remember my dad joining all of the neighborhood kids out in our backyard for a snowball fight in Philadelphia when I was ten. He beamed me right in the eye with a snowball and it took quite awhile before I coud see out of it. He felt so horrible. Funny how memories come flooding back when you least expect them.

Bren’s attending a sweet 16 sleepover party tonight, so Rick and I are going to go into town and maybe catch a movie. Has anyone seen any good movies lately?

I haven’t disappeared, and here’s a post to prove it. I just got home from work and decided tonight is the night to forget everything I should be doing, make a cup of tea, kick my feet up, and give the keyboard a whirl. Rick cut himself back early from work this afternoon to take Bren to the high school basketball games in town (she’s taking pics for yearbook), so it’s just the dogs and me home at the moment. If you can’t make sense of what I write, don’t worry—it’s me, not you. (By the way, why didn’t anyone tell me Christmas is in 12 days?)

Life in our house has been a bit strange lately because we are dealing with a few things that have cluttered up the path our normal thoughts and emotions travel down. It’s nothing too serious, it’s just that feeling you get when life begins to change and you realize something’s different. All of a sudden you’re making all kinds of adjustments, trying to get comfortable with the new circumstances. That’s where we are. I’m not to the point where I want to share what’s going on—maybe in the near future.

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I should be asleep by now, but I have so much on my mind. I just got done asking someone to do something for me that was just so over the top, and I have a knot in my stomach. How could I?

When you feel like what you are asking for may be too much, but you aren’t quite sure—should you ask anyway?

Sleeping in

The Mother Ship (that’s Barnes & Noble for those who don’t know)

Bren, Faith, and Kim

Coffee

Getting a new book

Maybe catching a movie

Cold Day

Yeah, it’s gonna be a good one!

Will bring Bren’s laptop along and update on all the activity going on at B&N today.

What are you doing (or did you) with your Saturday?

Not much is going on here. I got up almost two hours ago and haven’t budged from the couch except to make coffee and let the dogs out. It’s nearly December, so the sky is staying pretty dim now for the few hours it’s up during the day. It’s cold and snow has fallen, and it’s the perfect day for—and I’m in the perfect mood for—staying bundled up all day on the couch, reading and praying. This perfect scenario will have to wait for the weekend, as I am due in at work for a staff meeting and my shift in just over an hour.

Bren stayed at Faith’s house last night, and probably will stay there all this week. They have a large family and Bren feels loved and supported when she’s there, and that’s very comforting to her. She can get three times the TLC over there than she can at home :o)

Okay, I’m pushing it…must get off the couch and into the Land of The Living. I hope you all are having/have had a wonderful day. I’m thinking of and praying for you all.

Toodles.

One of the great things about being sick is you can lie in bed all snotty-nosed, droopy-eyed, sans make-up, and be completely lazy and useless – and it’s okay. So although I’m pretty miserable at the moment, I’ve been afforded this time to reacquaint our family with yours.

So, how are you all doing?

I’ll begin with Rick. He has finally finished his Bachelor’s degree in Human Resource Management, and we are so doggone proud of him we can’t stand it. He is the epitome of perseverance and discipline, that man is. (Why hasn’t some of that rubbed off on me?) His job is going great; he’s still enjoying it and staying busy, so he’s happy. Rick has been in the Air Force for 28 ½ years now. We would like to stay here until Bren graduates, so he’s going to put in a high year of tenure extension request so we don’t end up moving during Bren’s senior year. There’s a possibility he may be filling in a command position for several months that would be reminiscent of his 1st Sergeant years (only on speed). He acts like the pace of that job would be a big deal, but I’m not buying it. He’d love it.

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Coughing until I gag and throw-up is high on my list of things to do today, so I thought I would spare my dear church family and stay home. Listening to another person’s phlegm rattle is just disgusting (and reading about it is too, I suspect, lol) Rick had to go to Fairbanks to attend a Memorial Day ceremony, so I still had to get up to make sure Brenna and Faith were getting ready, then we picked Erik up and I dropped the load of ‘em off at church.

This weekend is going by fast already. Brenna and I slept in yesterday, spent a few hours doing homework and cleaning house, then the two of us went to town. Famous Footwear is having a Buy One – Get One ½ Off sale, so Brenna got a few pair of much-needed shoes.

After getting the car washed and visiting Cold Spot Feed, we sat by the fire and read at Barnes & Noble for a couple hours. I was able to finish Eat, Pray, Love, and began my next-on-my-list book How Starbucks Saved My Life, by Michael Gates Gill Not long ago I saw Michael Gill and his boss doing an interview, telling the story of his descent from being a top marketing executive to washing toilets at a New York City Starbucks, and I wanted to read the whole story. It’s a quick read – I should finish it today – as well as honest and fun. I love real life stories.

Well, I suppose I should turn off this 34 – 0 Green Bay/Vikings game, turn off the computer, and get my studying done. After I pick the kids up I think we’ll spend a nice quiet day here at home.

You all enjoy your Sunday. Blessings to you.